


hooked on all these feelings

by hippopotamus



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, F/F, Post-Canon, almost canon compliant except i just kind of forgot about magnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-19 00:29:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13693077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hippopotamus/pseuds/hippopotamus
Summary: Five times Eva talked to people about Vilde, and one time she actually talked to Vilde.





	hooked on all these feelings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thekardemomme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekardemomme/gifts).



> OK DECLARATION OF LOVE TIME  
> caroline!!!!! it is me ur secret admirerer here with an evilde fic for u!!!!  
> im so sorry i couldnt fill everything on ur wishlist believe me when i started i was like "yeah so we're gonna have evilde meeting and having a one night stand but then vilde finds out that eva is That Eva who stole ingrids boyfriend that one time!!!! so they r gonna hate each other but still fuck bc they had a good time ok" but then it just didnt work out and i couldnt write it properly and eugh it just all went wrong so im sorry!! i hope this is okay enough at least. if i ever do write that other one ii will dedicate it to u and it can be like a super late secret admirer present except not secret or surprising :D  
> anyway i hope you enjoy this!!! ilysm you are so awesome and u deserve all good things!!!!! so here is like 0.000001% of what u deserve :D LOVE YOU  
> OH also title is from feelings by lesbian jesus although u probs worked that one out :D

1\. saturday 11:04

“hey,” even gives a confused smile as he opens the door to eva on saturday morning. “you okay?” 

“yeah,” eva smiles bright, and slightly false. “just wondered if isak is in?”

“he’s in, yeah. also in bed,” even grins. “but come in, i’ll get him for you.”

eva nods her thanks and steps into the small hallway, waiting as even moves through to the main room, and she hears a muffled groan from isak and “get up, lazy” from even. 

a few seconds later, there’s a sleepy isak in sweatpants and a t-shirt, and no socks, sloping blurry eyed through the door.

“hey eva,” he yawns. “you okay?”

eva gives an amused smile. “sorry to wake you,” she says, half sarcastic and half guilty. “i just - i know it’s been a while but i wondered if you’d want to go for a walk or something?”

“now?” isak looks take aback, halfway through rubbing his eyes, and snapping his head to look at eva.

“well, no, it doesn’t have to be now…” she replies, hoping that he’ll know she wants it to be.

isak is still the friend that she remembers, and picks up on it straightaway. “i’ll just go and get dressed,” he smiles. “do you want a drink or something while i do?”

“uh, no, i’m ok,” eva says, just as even appears behind isak and slides a hand around his waist.

“you weren’t thinking of making her tea, were you?” he teases, and isak sighs dramatically.

“when will you let it go?”

“never”, even grins, kissing his temple. “go get dressed.”

even leads eva into the kitchen, and explains at the confusion on her face. “he doesn’t know how to make tea,” he says.

isak’s voice sounds throughout the apartment. “yes i do!” he shouts, and even chuckles, shaking his head at eva.

“sana came round and he-“

“shut up!”

“-made tea with water out of the tap,” even finishes in a whisper.

eva drops her mouth open in shock. “he did not,” she says, face turning slowly into a grin as she thinks of all the ways she can hold this against isak.

isak returns fully dressed a few seconds later, folding his arms when eva and even giggle at him together. 

“do you want to go for a walk or not?” he huffs, and eva nods, trying to stifle her laugh. isak rolls his eyes and turns to put his shoes on, then, with a goodbye kiss for even, they’re out the door and down the stairs.

“so where are we going?” isak asks.

“coffee?” asks eva, and isak grins

“yeah, god, i need one of those. specially if you wake me up at this ungodly hour.”

“it’s 11, isak.”

“exactly.”

there’s an unspoken agreement not to talk about anything until they have their coffees, and they walk towards uranienborg park together, side by side, until they sit down on a bench and isak speaks up.

“so what brought this on?”

“uh,” eva replies, unsure where to start. “just, uh. missed you?” she tries, immediately knowing that isak can see through her. “fuck,” she says. “why are you so good at lying  _ and _ being able to tell when other people are lying? that’s not fair.”

isak lets out a taken back laugh. “wow.”

“sorry, i didn’t mean that-“

“no, i mean, fair point. but also, you’re just kind of a bad liar, whereas i’ve had a lot of practise.” he shrugs, and eva immediately feels guilty, but before she can speak, isak continues. “not anymore though. but i feel like you’re not just here to talk through last year, right?”

“god, no,” eva shivers. “i’ve moved on from  _ that _ .”

isak nods. “thank god. i mean, i’m sorry about all of it, but-“

“how did you and even get together?” eva interrupts, thinking it’s the best place to start to get to the questions she really wants the answers to.

it’s the right thing to ask, she finds, when a slow smile spreads across isak’s face, full of joyful nostalgia. “long story,” is his answer, which isn’t what she expects from how happy he seems. “you could have just asked jonas, he knows the whole thing,” he says, but then looks across at eva, and realisation dawns. “oh. right. so…?” he tails off with the question, and eva sighs, unsure what to say.

there’s a few moments of silence. “i - i thought i wanted to be back with him,” she says eventually. “but i - i don’t know anymore.”

isak nods slowly. “eva, no offence,” he says carefully. “but why not tell noora about this? or sana? aren’t you close with them?”

“it’s not that,” she replies. “i could talk to them about him, but it’s not really about him.” she stops for a minute, watching isak smile to encourage her to continue. “i think i might be - bi or something, i don’t know. there’s - a person.”

isak’s smile widens., but he doesn’t speak still, waiting for eva to keep going. 

“i didn’t want to tell the girls because i didn’t know if they’d be - i don’t know, weird about it,” she looks down, ashamed, because now that she’s said it out loud she knows that they would never, but she continues anyway. “and you know about this stuff, i guess. you’re not gonna be a dick about it. i don’t know.”

“i’ll try not to be,” isak says. eva doesn’t look up from the floor. “are you going to tell me which person?”

eva just hums.

“i’ll take that as a no. so,” he tilts his head at her. “I feel like you’re coming to me for advice, which, given last year, i didn’t think you’d be doing again,” eva doesn’t reply at first, hiding her face behind her scarf and waiting for isak to continue instead, which he does, raising an eyebrow. “i wouldn’t come to me.”

“i - but - i don’t know, you know about this stuff,” eva says helplessly.

“the gay stuff?” isak asks, giving a teasing smile. “you know, you should really go to eskild for that.”

eva considers this for a moment. “but he’s eskild,” she tells isak. “does he know how to keep secrets?”

“he had you convinced i was straight,” replies isak.

“i wasn’t convinced,” says eva. “just for the record.”

“mhm,” isak replies, unconvinced, and eva frowns, realising he doesn’t believe her.

“i wasn’t!” she protests, and isak simply raises an eyebrow, taking a sip of his coffee.

“so back to the subject at hand,” he says. “this person you like, who i assume is a girl?” he looks at eva, who gives the smallest nod she can manage. “what’s the problem? you don’t know if you like her?”

“it’s not that,” eva says, then rethinks. “actually, yeah. i don’t know. i mean, before i got back with jonas i used to kiss her at parties and i - i just started to miss it now that i’m with jonas. i’d rather kiss her than him and i - maybe want more. but i don’t know if it’s because i  _ like _ her or just because - i don’t know.” she huffs and stops speaking, waiting instead for isak to take control of the conversation.

“it sounds like you like her,” isak replies, after a few seconds of silence.

“but what if i’m just, i don’t know, making it up?”

isak waits a few moments again before he replies, turning towards her so that she can see him meeting her eyes. 

“eva, whatever you feel, or think you feel, it’s real. no one can tell you what to feel except you, okay? if you think you like vi- this person, then you probably do.”

eva lets herself smile softly before replying. “thanks,” she says. “so i guess you worked out who it is?”

“well, you aren’t exactly subtle at parties.”

“yeah,” eva sighs. “i don’t know what to do now. i don’t want to hurt jonas.”

“i can’t exactly give you unbiased advice on that,” isak says. “or advice at all. i’m crap at it. maybe talk to sana? she’s probably the wisest person i know.”

eva nods. “yeah. yeah, i guess i’ll do that. thanks, isak.”

“anytime. keep me updated.”

 

  1. thursday 14:05



sana is on what the girls have affectionately begin to call “sana’s lookout” when eva finds her. she has a biology book in her hand and one eye on the courtyard below her, feet on the windowsill in front of her with barely enough room for eva to slide in and greet her.

“what’s up, eva?” sana says, and eva gets the sense that she knows eva is about to ask for advice. 

“not much,” eva lies anyway. “how are you?”

“cut the bullshit, eva mohn,” sana fixes her with a stare, although there’s a teasing smirk on her face. “what’s wrong?”

eva wants to protest and ask her how exactly she knows there’s something going on, but she thinks better of it. 

“uh,” eva starts, unsure how to. “isak is rubbish at advice but he said you were good, so…” she tails off, thinking. 

sana moves her legs so that her knees are no longer blocking eva from her view. “advice about what?” she asks sharply, but not unkindly. 

eva tips her head back against the window and inhales. “about a...person?” she phrases it as a question, and sana nods for her to continue. “that i maybe… like?”

sana considers her for a moment. “and i’m assuming, since you need advice about it, that it’s not jonas?”

eva shakes her head mutely, feeling ashamed. 

“am i allowed to know who, then?”

“you can probably work it out,” eva confesses, voice barely above a whisper. when she looks towards sana, there’s a gentle smile on her face. “i mean, isak did, so you probably can.”

“can’t have him beat me,” sana mutters. “do you mind me guessing?”

eva shrugs. 

“is it vilde?”

eva tips her head back against the window. “is it really obvious?”

“you’ve been sad at every single party the two of you have been at since you got back with jonas.”

“i haven’t been  _ sad _ , exactly,” eva tries, but gives up at sana’s raised eyebrow. she sighs, “do you think everyone knows?”

sana shakes her head. “i only notice because i’m the only sober person there,” she smiles. “and because i know everything.”

“of course,” eva agrees, allowing herself to smile now. “how could i forget?”

sana shakes her head in mock disappointment, but doesn’t say anything more for a few seconds.

“you probably already know this,” sans says, looking out of the window. “but you should break up with jonas.”

eva follows sana’s gaze, and sees him with the boys in the courtyard. “i know,” she sighs. “i just-”

“eva,” sana interrupts. “you didn’t mean to hurt him, and it’s not your fault, but either way he’s going to be upset. it’ll be worse if you don’t end it now.” 

“i don’t want him to hate me,” eva says.

sana raises an eyebrow. “jonas? he wouldn’t hate you. you know that.”

it doesn’t take a genius to realise that sana is right. as if he realises he’s being watched, jonas glances up to the window where sana and eva are sitting, and his gaze softens as he smiles at eva. eva smiles back and sighs yet again.

“i really like him,” she confesses. “just not really - like that. and not as much as i like her.”

it’s becoming clearer as the days go on how much she really does like vilde. the more she sees her, the more she thinks about her, the more she wants to kiss her and hold her and sleep next to her and tell her how beautiful she really is.

“isn’t it ironic that you telling me to dump jonas was one of the first conversations we ever had?” eva remembers, and sana groans. 

“god, don’t remind me. i don’t know why i thought that would make you guys want to keep me around.”

“but we did,” eva smiles. “and i’m glad we did.”

“yeah,” sana replies. “me too.”

 

  1. friday 14:32



jonas seems to know it’s coming, this time. both of them have grown so much since last year, and they know each other better, which has become their downfall. 

“i think we wanted an idealised version of each other,” says jonas. “not that i don’t really like you, love you, even, but it’s not like it was.”

“thank god for that,” eva says with a half laugh, which jonas copies. “but yeah. you’re right. we’re different people.”

“we should still be friends, though,” jonas says. “properly, this time.”

eva nods. “i’d like that.”

“and when we find new people we can go on double dates.” he winks, badly, and eva shakes her head. 

“that’s not happening. remember when you tried setting isak up and we tried to double date with him and - what was her name?”

“oh, fuck!” jonas exclaims. “i forgot about that. god, i never worked out why he was so uncomfortable.” 

eva rolls her eyes. 

“so no to double dates, then,” jonas says. “but we can still be friends.”

“yeah,” eva nods. there’s silence for a moment. eva isn’t sure if that’s her cue to leave.

jonas tilts his head. “so when were you going to tell me about your crush on vilde?”

he knows? but eva has only told two people, and sana would never-

“that little fucking snake!” eva exclaims. “i knew i shouldn’t ever tell him anything again.”

jonas grins. “it wasn’t isak that told me,” he says. “i just know you too well.”

eva narrows her eyes. “bullshit, how would you know that? i swear i’m going to murder isak in his bed.”

“word of advice, don’t go near isak’s bed.”

“figure of speech, jonas. anyway, how  _ did _ you know?”

“you forget that i know exactly how you act when you like someone,” he explains. “and besides, you always look at her weird at parties when you dance with each other, which used to mean you were about to kiss her, but since we started dating again it just means - well, i wondered if you liked her, and then you just confirmed it,” he gives a self satisfied smirk, and eva scowls. 

“i hate it when you one-up me with reverse psychology,” she says. 

jonas ignores her. “at least vilde is a step up from chris. if you’d have broken up with me for him i would have straight up refused.”

“fuck off,” eva shoves him lightly, and he laughs.

“kidding. you can make your own decisions.”

“you’re damn right.”

 

  1. sunday 15:18



when eskild lets her in to the kollektiv, the first thing eva does is to walk in to noora’s room and flop face down onto her bed. 

“hi, eva,” noora says, pretending to be unamused, although eva thinks she can hear the beginnings of a smile in her voice. “what’s up?”

eva lets out a long groan and turns her head to look at noora. “everything,” she says dramatically. 

“okay,” noora replies. “care to elaborate?”

“i mean,” eva says. “no. i assume you heard anyway.”

“about you and jonas?”

“yup.”

“i heard. you ok?” noora asks, then looks at eva’s raised eyebrow. “stupid question, okay. wanna talk about it?”

eva groans again.

“okay.”

they sit in silence for a while, until eva gets bored. 

“i’m not really sad about it,” she tells noora.

“okay,” noora says, as always, good at listening, closing her her book slowly and turning to look at eva. “why’s that?”

“it was a mutual thing, sort of,” eva explains. “and we were both just holding onto who we were last year when we ended it.”

“makes sense,” nods noora.

eva steels herself, inhales, then blurts it out. “and i’m kind of into vilde. and by kind of i mean i really missed making out with her at parties and i wanna do that again and probably more stuff like hold her hand and make her food.”

“the only food you can make is ready meals and cereal” is all noora says to this revelation.

“why do i feel like you weren’t surprised by any of the vilde stuff?” 

“gaydar.”

“oh. wait, eskild knows?”

noora sighs. “listen, eva, not to ruin your moment but i have recently come to the conclusion that i’m a huge lesbian.” eva tries not to be a little bit taken aback by this explanation, although as soon as she puts any thought into it, it does make a whole lot of sense. noora continues. “and you’re not sly about looking longingly at her when you want to make out with her.”

“i  _ am _ sly,” eva protests. noora just looks at her, eyebrows raised, until eva relents. “just because you know shit like  _ how to read people _ .”

“gaydar,” corrects noora.

it’s at this moment when, presumably summoned by the word “gay,” eskild bursts into the room dramatically, and sits down in the bed between noora and eva. 

“hi girls,” he says, looking from one to the other. “now, correct me if i’m wrong, here, but i’m picking up the vibes of someone who needs a little guru advising?”

noora looks at eva, who slumps her shoulders and sighs, while eskild waits expectantly. “i like someone,” she says. “and i don’t know if she likes me back, but-“

eskild gives a dramatic gasp. “you need to give her flowers. i have a flower language book somewhere, but to be honest you’d probably be safest just going for the classic rose. unless you wanted to be more subtle, in which case there’s a number of flowers that signify secret love,” eskild rambles for longer than eva would have thought possible about flowers and their meanings, letting every single word go straight over her head as she watches and listens mouth slightly agape, until noora finally interrupts. 

“eskild!” she says, cutting his speech off mid word. “flowers aren’t going to work. why would eva ever buy flowers? and how would she get them to vilde? this is a terrible plan.”

eskild frowns. “well, can you come up with anything better?”

noora sighs, and turns to eva. “you just have to say the right thing. maybe you could do it in a letter. that way you can be romantic but at the same time you don’t have to face her while she finds out.”

“that’s a good idea, actually. i’m impressed, noora,” eskild says. “well good luck girls. i have a date to get to.”

“he doesn’t,” noora tells eva as soon as he’s out of the room. “he’s just bitter that my idea was better.”

“so,” eva says, slightly unsure of what’s going on after the whirlwind that is eskild. “will you help me write it?”

noora smiles. 

_ “dear vilde, _

_ it’s been a while since we last kissed.  _

_ maybe that shouldn’t be such a big deal as it is, but the truth is that i miss it. i miss your lips, and your hands, and your perfect smile against mine.  _

_ kissing at parties isn’t romantic, we both know that, but what if i asked you if it could be? what if i asked you if we could kiss elsewhere, too? hold hands? if i could wake up next to you in the mornings? _

_ vilde, i’m the first to admit that i’m not sure how to do this. if never felt like this about another girl before, but the way you’ve come into my life and made my heart beat faster and my breathing get harder has floored me, and i don’t know how i’m expected to continue normally without telling you this.  _

_ of course, the best thing i could hear right now is that you feel the same way. that you like me back.  _

_ if you don’t, then i’m sorry to mess up our friendship. i hope it can stay like it was.  _

_ please put my out of my misery and tell me how you feel? _

_ yours _

_ eva.” _

in eva’s opinion, the letter should be co-signed by noora. or in fact,  _ signed  _ by noora, and co-signed by eva. 

she’s not really sure how this letter came from noora’s brain, although she’s slightly concerned about how easily she could write this letter to vilde. maybe there’s some competition going on there, but she hopes not. 

she leaves with the letter in her pocket, and already has a plan to just talk to chris and ask her how she should  _ really _ go about asking vilde out, because somehow, she doesn’t really think this is the right way. 

  
  


  1. tuesday 11:50



“eva!” chris cheers as eva meets her in school on monday morning. “i thought i was going to be alone for _ ever _ ,” she widens her eyes dramatically, and grins. “do you know where everyone else is?”

“chris, can i ask you something?” eva says, barely acknowledging chris’s words. 

“fire away,” chris says. 

“ok, it’s about vilde,” eva starts nervously. “i just thought, because you’re her best friend, you’d maybe - know her better than noora does, i mean,” she starts to ramble before she can help herself, “i mean noora was giving me all of this advice, and it all sounds great and really romantic, but i thought maybe it was just too over the top and anyway the letter didn’t sound like me at all, so i don’t know if i should just say it straight to her face so that i can get an answer but i’m too nervous to just ask her without knowing if she does feel the same and-“

“eva,” chris interrupts, a slow smile forming on her face. “first off, that was very fast, so you might need to run it again, but am i correct in thinking that the gist of it is that you have a crush on vilde?”

“it … might be?” eva says uncertain suddenly, although chris’s grin is telling her all she needs to know. 

chris takes a deep breath, then let’s put a loud woop. “i knew it!” she cried, then looks at eva and immediately calms. “sorry, just had to get that out.”

“you knew?” eva asks sharply. “fucking hell, how did everyone know?”

“well, you-” chris starts, then takes one look at eva and starts to shake her head. “i mean, i had no idea. i was just hoping, because you know, she told me she’s really - i’m gonna stop talking. what do you need advice about?”

“vilde,” says eva.

“yeah, i got that part,” chris shakes her head. “what about vilde?”

“do you know if she - likes me?”

chris looks to the side as if she’s racking her brain for something. “well, uh,” she clears her throat. “uh, there’s the million dollar question, right?”

“fuck, she doesn’t at all, does she?” eva frowns. “god, i’m so dumb, why did i-”

“eva i did not say that,” chris says hurriedly. “i did not say that at all. deep breaths, mohn.”

eva does as she’s told. “so…?”

“i am bound to secrecy by the best friend pact,” chris says slowly. “but i think i’m allowed to tell you that were you to tell vilde of your feelings you would have a high chance that it would not end badly.”

“really?” 

chris rolls her eyes. “i told you, i’m not allowed to say!” she says, but with a huge grin on her face. “but you’re right. don’t use any of that letter crap. tell her like it is. i guarantee it’ll work.”

  
  


+1. friday 19:37

there’s nothing special about this friday night, just another average third year party, only - there’s  _ everything _ special about it.

this friday, eva has a plan. her friends by her side, her cards on the table, her breathing in check (although not for long, she suspects.)

this friday, she’s going to tell vilde everything, terrifying as that is. 

ten minutes later, she changes her mind. 

then changes it back. 

and back again. 

then again, round and round and back and forth until she’s dizzier than if she’s been spun around a hundred times on a roundabout. 

“you just need to talk to her,” is the advice everyone gives her. even jonas steps up and says “come on, eva, i’m rooting for you,” and lifts his hands up in a placating gesture when she gives him a look. 

“what?” he says, “i really am.”

vilde is in the bathroom when eva finds her, reapplying her pink lipstick. 

“hey eva,” she greets when eva walks in. “what’s up?”

“hi, vilde,” says eva, voice squeakier than she ever remembers it being. “i like your - your lipstick.”

vilde gives a confused smile. “thanks!” she says brightly. “i mean, it’s the same one i always wear, but thank you.”

eva shuffles her feet and looks down. “oh right, uh…” she tails off. “can i talk to you?”

vilde nods, still applying makeup, but catching eva’s eye in the mirror. 

“uh, ok, well,” it’s more difficult to start than eva imagined. maybe she should have gone with the letter. “you know i - i broke up with jonas?” she asks, biting her lip nervously. vilde nods and gives a questioning look. “well i, uh. fuck. i don’t know how to say this.”

“say what?” vilde asks, although eva notices her left hand start to twitch against the bag on the counter in front of her. she puts her lipstick away in her bag and turns to face eva, and suddenly everything becomes more real.

“can i kiss you?” eva asks, a little desperately. “i mean, properly? while we aren’t both wasted and i’m pretending it’s just for fun?”

vilde s small smile grows wider, and she stands up slightly straighter. eva takes the cue to take a step forward slowly, and then stops again. 

“can i?” she asks

again, and at vilde’a nod she places one hand on her cheek.

“i really, really like you, vilde,” she confesses into the ever shrinking space between their mouths. 

vilde finally replies, just before their lips connect.

“i really, really like you, too.”

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading!!!!!!  
> love always xxx


End file.
